


Silence is Violence

by problematiquefave



Category: Fear the Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst with a Happy Ending, M/M, Pre-Slash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-26
Updated: 2018-05-26
Packaged: 2019-05-13 22:42:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,368
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14757687
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/problematiquefave/pseuds/problematiquefave
Summary: Nick worries about Troy in the aftermath of his father's death -- maybe because of the guilt or maybe because they're friends.





	Silence is Violence

**Author's Note:**

  * For [catastrophage](https://archiveofourown.org/users/catastrophage/gifts).



> Prompt: “Leave me alone.” 
> 
> Still accepting prompts from [this list](https://problematiquefics.tumblr.com/post/174214754550/nearly-200-writing-prompts-feel-free-to-reblog) on my [tumblr](https://problematiquefics.tumblr.com/). Comments are greatly appreciated.

There’s an air of grief at the ranch – it can be seen in every face, heard in every voice. Jeremiah Otto was a drunk and a coward but he led these people. He was a shepherd and they were his flock; now the man is gone and they miss him. Yes, Jake is there to lead and the integration with Walker’s people serves as a distraction but it’s there. It’s impossible not to notice, especially in Otto’s youngest son.

At least it is for Nick.

Maybe he’s just fine-tuned for grief or maybe he understands Troy better than others. Maybe it’s his guilt getting the better of him. Whatever the case, it doesn’t change the fact that every time he looks at Troy, he sees a hurt and broken man. He also sees a wild animal that’s ready to lash out if given the chance.

Nick knows that if Troy does lash out – however he does that – he could very well die. Walker won’t stand for it and Jake won’t stand against him. The oldest Otto son is intent on keeping the peace and that means sacrificing his brother if he must. He doesn’t quite understand their dynamic but he understands that. He also understands that he can’t let that happen. That he _won’t_.

Yeah, that’s the guilt talking – definitely. He killed Jeremiah but he won’t let Troy die. Right and wrong might be twisted here but no matter what definition you use, it wouldn’t be right to doom Troy for something he did. So maybe he follows the youngest son around; they’re friends and they’re both members of the militia, it’s not suspicious. Maybe he signs up for all the patrol shifts with Troy or maybe he makes sure to talk to him every night before they head to sleep in their separate rooms. It’s not like any of that’s a crime. It’s not like any of that’s bad. It just means he cares.

But Troy… Troy doesn’t see it like that.

Nick doesn’t even realize he sees it all until the two are out on the midnight patrol and Troy shouts at him, “leave me alone!” He isn’t sure what sets him off. Nick had just been making friendly chit-chat until the other man cut him off. Nick was left stupefied and, in his shock-induced silence, Troy hopped into his pick-up truck and drove off. Nick had to walk all the way back to the ranch. When he got there, Alicia was sitting on the porch, glaring at the ground. She turned that withering look on him when she spotted him.

Evidently Troy had intruded on some private time she was having with Jake.

It takes a couple days but Troy eventually returns to the big house. He ignores Nick, giving him a cold shoulder and refusing to talk to him. It’s almost childish but Nick holds back his frustration. He understands that Troy is  grieving. He understands that Troy isn’t good at handling emotions. And yeah, he understands that maybe he was suffocating Troy. So he stands back; he switches his patrol shifts with Cooper and gives Troy his distance. He hates it and he lays awake at night worrying that Troy is going to do something drastic while he’s not there but he doesn’t push it. His guilt and anxiety are not things he needs to put on Troy. That might only make it worse.

He waits and he waits and he bides his time, spending his days with Alicia, Ofelia, and others. He gets along easily with most whether they be from the ranch or the nation. Nick almost forgets why he’s spending so much time with them. But he doesn’t and, one day, as he’s headed to his room, he notices the door to Troy’s ajar. He bites his lips, debating it for a moment, before slowly approaching and peering in.

Troy is on his bed, a heavy looking book in his lap. He’s clearly engrossed in whatever he’s reading; Nick is ready to leave him alone without ever making his presence known but fate has others plans – or the floor does because it squeaks beneath his feet. Blue eyes instantly snap up to him and he freezes. He waits for the anger and the shouting but it doesn’t come.

“You don’t have to haunt my doorway like a ghost,” he says wryly before looking back down at his book. Nick’s not quite sure what he means but he _thinks_ it’s an invitation to come in. If he’s wrong, Troy will probably only throw the book at him.

He enters, eyes flicking around the room. It’s surprisingly non-descript. The far wall has shelves that span from end to end, filled with books and miscellaneous knick-knacks. The only thing that could be considered remotely disturbing is the articulated skeleton of some small creature but that would be right at home in a high school science classroom.

“Did you want something?” he asks, looking up from his book again when Nick says nothing. Nick shakes his head.

“Uh, no. I was just—” Checking on him? Curious what he was doing? He was either going to come across as over-bearing or nosy, neither of which he wanted. “Was just headed to my room and saw your door was open.”

Troy shrugs, picking up a bookmark from beside him and sliding it between the pages of his book. “You doing okay?” he asks.

Is Nick doing okay? It’s nearly impossible not to laugh at that but, somehow, he manages. Instead he nods, distrusting himself not to say something stupid.

“I’m—” Troy’s nostrils flare. He’s not looking at Nick – he’s looking at the wall beside him as his fingers flex around the cover of the book. “I’m sorry for yelling out you. And leaving you out in the pass. That wasn’t right.” The words are forced, clearly foreign on his tongue, but Nick can appreciate them for what they are. A sincere apology. He’s not sure he’s heard Troy give one of those before.

“It’s fine,” he says. “Got back alright and I understand. I wasn’t giving you space. I’m sorry too.”

Troy licks his lips, shaking his head. “No. No you were just… Worried, I guess. It was because of my dad, right? You were afraid I’d go off the deep-end and you wanted to stop that before it happened.” Nick’s brows shoot up into his hairline; he is astonishingly perceptive. “I get it. It wasn’t because of that.”

“What was it then?” Nick blurts out, not thinking twice about the question despite how clearly uncomfortable Troy is as he’s talking.

“It—” Nick can _hear_ the ‘it was nothing.’ Yet, to his credit, Troy doesn’t actually say it out loud. “I was confused and tired. I wanted to be left alone. It had nothing to do with you. If it was Jake or Coop or your mom, I would’ve done the same thing. I’m not good at articulating things; I prefer to just lash out.”

It’s clear that Troy has thought a lot about this. When Nick thought Troy was just pissed at him, it seems like he was sorting through his feelings. He sort of feels bad now though he’s not sure for what. This conversation probably wouldn’t have happened if Troy hadn’t got the alone time he wanted.

“We’re friends, right?” Troy’s question draws him from his thoughts and Nick frantically nods.

“Of course. _Of course_.”

“Good because, uh… Good.”

Suddenly, Nick has a distinct impression that Troy has more that he means and wants to say but the other man’s jaw is clenched and he doesn’t look comfortable continuing with this conversation. Because of that, Nick doesn’t push. Maybe it’s something that Troy stills need time to think about and, in that case, Nick is happy to give it to him. He hopes the smile that he shoots Troy conveys that.

“It is,” he says. “I’m happy we’re friends.”

Troy’s blue eyes are wide and searching – for what, Nick doesn’t know, but he hopes that Troy can find it. If there’s one thing Nick wants for him, it’s peace. If Nick can give him that without blood and bullets, he will be happy.


End file.
